Terrible Two’s – What They Are & How To Deal With Them.

Remember that sweet feeling you had when your children were born? Those tiny fingers and innocent faces? Those perfect little humans that could do no wrong?

 

 

Until they turn two. Also known as the “Terrible Two’s” – The period of when your sweet innocent baby turns against you and makes you the enemy. The one who absolutely despises the word NO.

I was super lucky because my son hit the pre stages of terrible twos at one and a half. I thought that was bad, until he actually turned two and it was in full swing from there. I immediately started searching and reading every single post I could to find a solution. Anything to help these dreaded days.

I know if anyone ever found a way to make the “Terrible Twos” non-existent – They would be a hero.  In the eyes of moms.   Unfortunately this is something we ALL have to deal with at some point.  But the good news is, you can make this experience a little better with some tips that will help you and your toddler have some better days.

 

 

What are the Terrible Two’s? 

The terrible two’s is a stage in every child’s life, that typically starts on or around the age of two. It can start early or late and even last until they turn 3. It’s the time when they start discovering themselves and the world around them. Toddler’s are learning new things each day and are so curious. They want to touch and pull and step on just about everything. This is usually about the same time that the word NO is on the tips of every mom’s tongue, and it’s one of our most used words. Toddlers are trying to push themselves into discovering new things but at the same time giving you that heart attack.

 

What causes the Terrible Two’s?

As babies grow into toddlers and are learning their brains are growing as well. Listen to this: A toddler’s brain produces 700 new neural connections every second. I was in complete shock when I read this information. EVERY SECOND. Feel free to take a minute before continuing. ( I’m still trying to process it.) Have you ever caught yourself pulling at your hair because they asked for something and immediately start crying and throwing themselves on the floor? Yup, me too.

toddler’s brain produces 700 new neural connections every second.

 

To be honest this sentence has made me rethink this whole experience about the dreaded Terrible Two’s.  I’ll tell you why. 

 

First let’s go back a minute. I have realized that the majority of temper tantrums from my son have started because of one simple word, No.

 

I told myself why my toddler doesn’t understand the word no. Why doesn’t he listen. He doesn’t even care.  Totally not true. 

 

Have you ever said anything like this?

  • NO – don’t touch the outlets.
  • NO – don’t go near the stove.
  • NO – don’t pull the dog’s tail.
  • NO – don’t run away from me.
  • NO– don’t go into the cabinets.

Like i said before, toddler’s absolutely despise the word no. 

 

Why is that? Toddler’s tend to hear no all day long. It becomes so tiring to them as it does me, having to say it.

 

Why do they get mad? If someone were to come up to you for no reason and tell you no for doing something that you do everyday, would you get mad? Probably. I’m sure it wouldn’t be toddler style. Throw’s hands up in the air while simultaneously kicking and screaming as their throwing whatever’s in arms reach and falling to the floor for 5 minutes.  But you would be a bit confused? Um, why can’t I make coffee? I’m not allowed to walk into the bathroom? What do you mean i can’t go into the fridge? 

All of these things we do, are just so simple to us. How do toddler’s feel? Why can’t they rip apart the cabinets? Why can’t they sit on the dog? Go outside whenever they want?

 

Why I stopped saying NO.

Toddler’s at this age see us doing all of these things and they are curious. They want to copy what we do. So when we say No, they simply don’t understand that just because they are learning to be independent doesn’t mean they can do what they want whenever they want. They don’t want to be stopped on their mission. – Once they are a little bit older they will come to learn that we are keeping them safe. To make life simpler on myself and my son, I took no right out of my vocabulary.

Vocabulary is key:

  • The outlets will hurt you if you touch them.
  • Ouch! The stove is hot, you will get burned.
  • The dog is getting hurt by you pulling his tail.
  • If you run away might get hurt if I’m not there.
  • The stuff in the cabinets aren’t toys, let’s go find yours.

I think it’s a little crazy how most of the time my toddler listens more to these words instead of the simple, yet horrible NO. I think he has a little more time to look at me and process what I am saying and seeing my emotions lets him see that he probably shouldn’t do that.

 

toddler’s brain produces 700 new neural connections every second.

Did you have time to process this yet? In the beginning I was getting upset, and tired at the fact that my son was so terrible. This tantrums didn’t make any sense to me. They seemed so silly. 

After researching and processing this information I realized maybe I needed to change how I did things, in order to help my toddler. We already established why not to constantly say No. 

We also know why they are so picky and angry all the time; 700 new neural connections every second.

But nothing is perfect and completely passing over the Terrible Two’s is inevitable.

 

What to do during a temper tantrum.

This part is all depending on each child and each day. These are some of the tips I used to quickly end that tantrum.

  • Walk away.
  • Try a nap
  • Distraction
  • talk to them calmly.
  • Change environment. Going into a different room could distract them.

 

Redirection.

This has been one of the best things I have done with my son. I just simply redirect him to another activity or room. Switch what we are doing and not make a big deal out of it. This can be a big life saver for you to easily avoid a temper tantrum.

 

toddler’s brain produces 700 new neural connections every second.

Last time I say this, I promise.

 

Really though, this completely changed my entire thought process. I won’t lie though, do I get upset when i make my son’s favorite lunch and he instantly throws it on the floor? Or when he is quietly playing with his toys and they just start flying across the room.

Yes I do. But I know that he’s Not doing it to be a “terrible” toddler, and the next day he decided he did like those dinosaur chicken nuggets.

 

It’s just that their brains are changing so quickly in a second that they can’t process it. I have definitely slowed down to think about how he is feeling and It has kept me calm and I’m not so quick to get upset.

 

Happy Toddler = Happy mama

 

 

eastcoastmomx

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